I have received quite a few questions from the last
Devo, so I thought it would be wise to share some thoughts on a “hot” topic –
Esteem. From my years of counseling, I believe there has been a very bad
defining of “esteem” and the healthy source versus the unhealthy source it
comes from.
To do that, let’s break man down into greater detail. This
comes from the Professor that instructed me in my counseling courses in
Seminary. Dr. Kellemen does a good job of helping us understand better the
complexities of being human.
A. Relational Beings: This is where we exercise our affections.
B. Rational Beings: This is where we form our mindsets.
C. Volitional Beings: This is where we exercise our
decision-making using our will, choice and goals.
D. Emotional Beings: This is where we experience deeply.
E. Physical Beings: This is where we sense life. It is the
tangible part of life.
* Notice! Man was created not sufficient within himself!
Genesis 2 makes this clear.
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man
to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
Interesting that God allow man to discover for himself that he
needs something more than what there already was.
And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of
the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he
would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its
name. And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky,
and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper
suitable for him.
So God made man someone that would complete him.
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall
upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the
flesh at that place. The Lord God
fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her
to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his
father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one
flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Also notice: Work
and decision-making were part of the deal.
Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden
of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man,
saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree
of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you
eat from it you shall surely die."
God also gave man a stewardship to rule over the earth.
And God created man in
His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created
them. And God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply,
and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over
the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the
earth."
Many things changed after the fall, but several things remain
the same, though more difficult due to sin.
Even though the image has been marred by sin, we are still to
reflect Him.
In our decision-making – we are still responsible to choose His
ways.
Also, we are stewards of thus earth, we are accountable for how
we work, handle our belongings and take care of God’s creation.
One of the greatest impacts on a human being is their “self
worth”
what we call their esteem. Sadly, we have been duped by the enemy to believe
that we should develop “self” esteem. Decades of counseling has taught me that “self”
esteem is greatly flawed because it is based on SELF! That is the wrong source,
instead we need to develop “real” esteem, which flows from the Maker and is
based on Truth. I have developed an acrostic for this and I hope it will help
you.
Self esteem has 4 basic components:
Seduced – You believe the world will love you if
you conform to its view.
So many find out the hard way, even if they get their 15
minutes in the spotlight, when they no longer have a reason for the world to
use them, they will be quickly tossed aside. Whether it is due to age, or new
fads or political correctness – once you do not jump rope the way the
world demands, you are not important any more.
Egotistic – What matters is ME!
Your world revolves around yourself. You will be obsessed with
you, which will never lead to self worth…it leads to selfishness!
Lover of self – No control over appetites
Your number one goal is to feel good, so you become a slave to
your appetites.
Friend conscious – The secret Masters – you must
please them.
You say you are doing your own thing, but in reality, you are
doing whatever it takes to get your friends’
approval.
Self esteem does not lead individuals to be able to stand on
their own convictions.
God wants us to sense self worth, but it needs to be from the
source that will produce REAL esteem.
Reality – God thinks of you all the time
The Scriptures are filled with a clear message from our God
that He thinks about us constantly. That’s what the “gospel” (good news) is all about – God
communicated His love through the sacrifice of His Son! No matter what voices
are trying to tear you down, if you know that the God of the universe thinks
you are “somebody” you
will never feel like a nobody!
As we continue in our walk with God, we learn more of His
character, and then see the Holy Spirit reproducing that in us also, we will
gain a sense or worth and purpose.
Alone – Need no other human
This is not contradicting our need for community that God
placed in us from creation. This has to do with the fact that we can stand
alone, if we have too. Our convictions arise from the core of who we are in
Christ, so fads, popularity or political correctness will not dictate our
convictions. To know why you stand where you stand builds tremendous
confidence in our esteem.
Lover of God – It’s about Him
Your self worth is at its max when you live selfless. You focus
on God and others, and let God take care of you!
When we cultivate Self Esteem, it leads to external living.
1. Worry about what everybody thinks about you.
2. Gratify your appetites – Lusts of all kinds, and most dangerous of
all, you never learn to say no!
3. Get your self worth from things.
Self Esteem builds: Reputation
Real Esteem produces: Character
God’s love is the source of esteem! Instead of allowing real esteem
to build character we try through self esteem to build a reputation
Difference of Character and Reputation:
"Character is
like a tree and reputation like it's shadow. The shadow is what we think of it;
the tree is the real thing" Lincoln
"Reputation and
character are widely different things. Character lives in a
man; reputation
outside a man" J. G. Holland
"Character is
what a person is; reputation is what he is supposed to be" Abbott
Reputation is based on image. Character is based on Real Esteem
and produces a Testimony
If you seek to have a reputation your focus will be on the
outward life = surface living
If you seek to have a testimony your outward life will merely
be the expression of what is within!
Consider the Apostle Paul
Paul’s reality:
55 AD – “Least of the Apostles”
1 Corinthians 15:9 For I am the least of the apostles, and
not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.
60 AD – “Less than least of Saints”
Ephesians 3:8 To me, who am less than the least of all the
saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the
unsearchable riches of Christ,
66-67 AD – “Chief of Sinners”
1 Timothy 1:15 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ
Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.
Paul’s Experience: 12 years of maturity and growth, yet the closer he
got to Christ, the better he saw his own sin. This is the balance “real
esteem”
brings, we see how valued we are in God’s eyes, we see the fruit His Spirit
produces in us, yet we stay honest about our own sin. This will save you from self-righteousness
and judging others, because you know that you are just like everyone else…a
sinner that needs forgiveness.
Meditation: Which esteem are you building? Where do you get
your worth? How often do you reflect upon God? How much do you think about
yourself? When you pray, is it all about you?
