Learning how to control our words.

"To live above with the saints we love - that will surely be glory!

To live below with the saints we know - now that's                               another story!”

Someone once said "I love mankind, it's just people I can't stand"   

Why is it so hard at times for people who claim to know God to get along? One reason is that we fail to measure what words we let come out… at least I know I do. Over the years though I have been encouraged by the scriptures to consider how to discipline my words, admittedly I have not reached where I want to be – but I am continuing to grow and mature in that area. 

On your tombstone will be the date of your birth, and the date of your death with a little dash in between.  You don't have much control over either of those dates.  All you can control is the little dash in between.

I want that “dash” to include that I was as careful as I could be with my words, in order not to injure others needlessly. To do that I have learned some principles on controlling my words. I will share them with you.

1. Make a covenant with my mouth.

I learned from Job this principle that helped me in dealing with lust.

Job 31:1 "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.

Psalms 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalms 17:3 Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.

Psalms 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

This will make you more conscious of what you are saying.

2. Bring mouth under influence of the Word of God

Psalms 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

This will produce godly thoughts in your heart, which will affect your words.

3. Check if you are consistent.

James 3:9-10 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

1 John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

James 1:26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

This will make you add actions to your words, which gives them real weight.

4. Understand that God will hold you accountable for what you say.

Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

This will help you to think before you speak.

5. Make yourself accountable.

Proverbs 27:17  As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

This brings a new set of ears into your communication, a different view on what, how and even when (timing) you said something.

6. Make those around you accountable.

"A couple reprimanded their little girl and boy for noisy quarreling. They replied, “We aren't quarreling. We're just playing mommy and daddy!”

Matthew 18:15-17 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

This puts you in the spot light, if you will not tolerate gossip and hurtful words, then those around you will expect the same.

7. Commit to be a person of your word.

Matthew 5:37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

James 5:12 Above all, my brothers, do not swear-- not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.

Psalms 15:2-4 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts

This will make sure that when you say something you mean it.

8. Make sure you correct any past mistakes

Psalms 66:13-14 I will come to your temple with burnt offerings and fulfill my vows to you - vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke when I was in trouble.

Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the [temple] messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands?

This will produce the peace in your heart that you have done all you can to be right with everyone.

9. Be consciously aware of what your words are doing.

One little boy was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up.  He responded, "Possible".  His teacher was puzzled.  "Possible?"  "Yes," the little guy responded, "My mom's always telling me I'm impossible.  When I grow up I want to become POSSIBLE."

Psalms 39:1 I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence."

Psalms 49:3 My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.

James 3:2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

Colossians 4:6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

This will make you a person of meditation. When you take the time to observe how your words are affecting people you will be able to rethink what you said, how you said it and if it was the right time.

Meditation Question: What rules are you consciously practicing in your communication? If none, why? What difference do you think it would make in your life if you become more conscious in your communication?