Christmas, a time of friendship. How do I choose friends?

I want to meditate on Christmas for the next few Devo’s. Looking at some different issues during this season. The first one is friendship. Christmas time is a time that most of us desire to be with family and friends. We do need the Lord’s help in balancing our friendships.

Probing Proverbs 12:26 The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

I grew up watching the cowboy show, “The Lone Ranger.” The thing I remembered the most was the close friendship between him and his companion Tonto who was a Native American. The reason I remember their relationship so much was in that day “Cowboy and Indian” movies had them fighting against each other most times. However, whenever the Lone Ranger was in trouble he could count on his friend Tonto for help. Years later I heard this joke:

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains when off to the west they noticed a cloud of dust. It turned out to be a band of Indians galloping directly at them. They turned their horses around and headed east.  Pretty soon they saw another thick cloud of dust in front of them.  More Indians.  

They turned their horses north. But another cloud of dust revealed more Indians.  In desperation they turned their horses south and galloped off in that direction.  Once again, a choking cloud of dust revealed more Indians attacking from that direction.

Realizing they were surrounded the Lone Ranger looked at Tonto and asked, "What do we do now, Tonto?" Tonto glared back at him. "What do you mean `we' paleface?"

Obviously, that would not be a good example of friendship! Still, there is a point, the Tonto in this joke betrays his friend. This proverb warns us about that. In reality that is what is happening when someone leads you astray…betrayal!

Let’s consider what “friend” means.

Friend defined:

Regular Dictionary: - A person who you like and enjoy being with; a person who helps or supports someone or something; a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

Urban Dictionary: People who are aware of how retarded you are and still manage to be seen in public with you. People who make you laugh till you pee your pants. People who cry for you when one of your special items disappear. When you don’t have enough money to get a ice cream, they chip in. They know all of your Internet passwords. They would never make you cry just to be mean.

Sadly, this term is also used to describe someone we connected with on the Internet…even though we don’t know them at all!

I find it important for my own benefit to give important words in my own life a deeper meaning than just a definition. So when I think of the word “friend” my meaning would be this: "A person that you know intimately and they want God’s best for you."

When it comes to friends we need to break that list down into two columns. This Proverb gives a sobering warning as to why. In both cases there is a friendship basis that exists. 

One friend gives “good” advice that will lead you toward God. 

The other friend gives advice that, if followed, will take you off the 

path that leads to God and godliness. The issue that needs to be confronted is how do I deal with the mixture of friends in my life. I believe you can break it down to two groups; those that you impact and those that impact you! 

God does not want us to separate from those that live far from Him, we are the only light they have! What God expects of us is to use discernment in the influence that is brought to bear into our lives.

The lack of this discernment is the cause of much misunderstanding of verses like:

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

The “Bad Company” needs the good news, if we separate ourselves from them, who will share that good news. A true friend joins you in the storms of life and remains with you! This verse has to do with “company” that will influence your life toward theirs instead of God’s. 

The other misunderstanding is that when we separate ourselves from the worldly, they feel judged and see us as self-righteous.

Be friends to all, and allow the Holy Spirit and your spiritual community help you discern which friends are you impacting and which ones are impacting you. I have friends I like very much, but when it comes to spiritual truth, when they speak, I listen, however, I do so with the intention of bringing the True Light into the conservation. Not because I am selling something, but because they are my friend and I firmly believe the only life                                                  there is, is one with Christ! 

I have other friends that speak truth into my life and the wonderful reality is that God has given me the measuring rod to make sure the advice leads to Him. The Scriptures are the standard that all advice can be weighed by. If the advice goes against the Word, don’t over react, just mark down that this person is not the one you want to influence your life at this time. Remember, that may change. I have seen friends come to a personal relationship with Christ, and soon afterward the Word of God confirms the spiritual wisdom they share. 

Be friendly…and be discerning!

The so what? Do you take time to evaluate your friendships, who is impacting who, and how? Can you name 1-3 friends that move you toward the Lord? Can you name 1-3 friends that have confused counsel, so you are praying how you can help them? Are you willing to have God bring you new friends in 2017, both that can impact you for good and those you can impact? Are you praying for that?

Am I suppose to enjoy being disciplined by God?

Probing Proverbs: 3:11-12 My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.  For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

This is a true story: There was a young boy, his father had abandoned him, his mother neglected and would not love him. At  10, a new man came into his life, the man was dating this boy's older sister. For years that man built a relationship with this boy…at one point bringing him in as a teenager to live at his home because the boy’s mother had thrown him out of the house. This man married the boy’s sister and they continued to try to love and guide him. Sometimes things went so well, other times, the man had to speak hard truth to the boy. At one point the boy, now a man, really did some sinful things and got into big trouble. The older man had to draw a difficult line…his arms were wide open but the young man needed to embrace the discipline, but instead broke the fellowship. Years later the older man encountered the young man, who now had a child of his own. Time went by and they grew back into fellowship. One day while they were both at a funeral, the young man turned to the older man and said, “I just want to thank you for all you did in my life. I know I did not always show it, but even when you had to draw lines of discipline and I rebelled, later I would see you loved me.” Then to the shock of the older man, the younger man said, “If I ever find my father’s grave I will urinate on it…you are my dad to me!” Harsh…yes, but the older man’s heart was broken because he could see that the Lord had guided him properly in what true love to a child is. 

Sadly, a proverb like this does not land easily in our heart. Still, the reality is, that God's discipline is motivated by love. Notice the words used; “don’t reject” and “don’t be upset.” God is not asking us to “enjoy” or “be glad” when we have to be disciplined by Him! That would be unreasonable, and He is an overwhelmingly reasonable Person! Even the                                  writer of Hebrews understood this:

Hebrews 12:11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

God is exhorting us…not to enjoy…but embrace what discipline means and what it produces. This scripture really challenges us in the area of “understanding.” We need to Understand that rejecting the Lord’s discipline only complicates our life. That discipline is for a reason; the sooner we learn the lesson, the sooner the discipline stops! We also need to stop Misunderstanding the reason God does this. He is not mean, or “getting even,” His motive is love. As a loving parent, God thinks it is dangerous for us to play with sin – (like playing with nitroglycerin) – it can kill us! So He takes the time to send the exact discipline we need to help break what  captured our attention and allowed sin to have possession of our heart. He could just judge us, but because of love He spanks us to get our attention. Pay attention – it’s the path to repentance!  It is also the testimony that we belong to Him!

Hebrews 12:7–8 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? ⁸ But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

The so what? How do you handle being disciplined by the Lord? After you sin, can you still go immediately to the Lord? If so, why? If not, why? After you sin, do you feel God’s love or not? Do you think God loves you less? What’s the difference between being a family member and a friend? Do you believe your sin affects your relationship with God? Do you think your sin affects your fellowship with God?