An
English publication had a contest for the best definition of a friend. Some of the ones that won honorable
mention were these: `A friend is
somebody who multiplies your joys and divides your griefs’; `A friend is
someone who understands your silence.’ But let me give you the one that won the
prize. `A real friend is someone
who comes in when the whole world has gone out.’”
All of us deal with grief in our own way, yet there are certain
principles that seem to be universal. As I think of my friends and all the
folks in the Philippines, I continue to hear of tragedy, incredible courage,
terrible greed and uncompromising generosity and selflessness. It is my prayer
that all my brothers and sisters in the Lord will allow God to take them
through the healing process so the enemy can get no foothold. His goal is to
produce doubt in our trust of God. How can we help those that have no
relationship with God work through this horrific incident and come out on the
other side with a new understanding of Who God is, and hopefully a new birth,
if we ourselves are unsure of His faithfulness, constant love and desire to see
us live our life to the fullest.
We have already seen that the beginning of the process is to:
·
A. Live what you know – this is how you get past
the initial shock of the emotions. How do we do that?
§ 1.
Refuse to move to emotionalism; i.e. living based on what you feel, instead of
based what you know.
§ 2.
Mental understanding of life – it includes difficult times.
Do not allow your mind to believe in living in “the Bubble”!
No one escapes life! In this fallen world everyone will experience difficult
and heart breaking times.
The next step is one that requires us to slow down. In a state
of grief the enemy wants us to be impulsive…nothing can be more dangerous.
B. Meditate on Who God
is. This is where you deal
with trust. Who is God? Can you trust Him? What has He done to redeem you?
·
1.
Focus on the bridge of hope. This is the bridge from the brain to the heart.
We must take what we know about God and begin to bridge that
knowledge to our heart. This produces hope. Hope is when we have a clear
expatiation of seeing a good result in our life, no matter the circumstances. This
is expressed often in the Scriptures.
Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him;
1 Thess. 4:13 But we do not want you to be uninformed,
brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest
who have no hope.
Romans 8:24-25 For in hope we have been saved, but hope that
is seen is not hope; for why does one also hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see,
with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
This is a difficult step because as humans we all prefer to
walk by sight…I know I do! Yet, if we slow down enough in our thought life and
take what we know about our God, a belief (faith) will begin to manifest itself
in our soul that God is in control and does have a plan. The logic of Who God is screams out against
all the arguments to not trust Him.
The Hope of eternity
outweighs the discomfort of the present. Grieve we must and should, however,
even in the worse case scenario – death - the reality that death has lost due
to the resurrection of Christ comforts us because we can know we will see our
loved one again.
Jesus wept at the
grave of Lazarus, even though He knew He was going to raise him! The separation hurts, if we love
someone it must! Still, the reality is in the fact that our grief is only
temporary and the final victory is in Christ, which should comfort the inner
area of the heart.
·
2.
Focus on the fact that you are not alone.
Job 16:19-21 Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate
is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on
behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.
This is the foundation of all the strength of all of God’s
children since the garden! God has never abandoned anyone that desired to be
close to Him. So many have abandoned Him, even replaced Him with images, vain fantasies
and convoluted theories. Yet, He has remained faithful to His commitment of
love toward us. The only person that has been forsaken by God thus far is the
Son of God, when He became sin for us. God’s commitment to us is so strong that the
Father forsook His Son, to provide us a way back into relationship with Him!
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet
sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 8:35–39
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer
loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or
destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the
Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being
slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming
victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing
can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels
nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even
the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the
sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be
able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our
Lord.
There is someone that understands exactly how you feel and can
bring you comfort. The Father has experienced the grief of rejection, betrayal,
unfaithfulness, and loss. He alone can meet you in that quite place in your
heart that no one else can reach.
Hebrews 7:25 Hence, also, He is able to save forever those
who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession
for them.
Meditation questions: Are you taking what you know
about God and allowing that knowledge to become real to your heart? What “truths” do you know about God?
What “truths” do you only say you know? What is the difference in claiming what
we believe and believing what we believe? What happens to person when they lose hope? Is any
circumstance fixable by God?
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