Paul is showing us what love is NOT. Let’s look at the rest of
his description.
1 Cor. 13:1-7 If I speak with the tongues of men and of
angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
[2] And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all
knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have
love, I am nothing. [3] And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and
if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
[4] Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and
is not arrogant, [5] does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not
provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, [6] does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; [7] bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
“Unbecomingly” - ἀσχημονέω aschēmonéō; To
behave in an ugly, indecent, unseemly or unbecoming manner
Love never communicates in a way that would be considered ugly
or indecent. This of course makes this side of love very sensitive to culture.
What is ugly in one culture may not be ugly somewhere else. For instance I know
of a very closed country to the gospel, that if any believer goes to a movie,
the entire Christian community is offended. Many today would say... “that’s
not fair! I have the right to go to a movie, that’s a liberty issue!” Right and Wrong! On it’s own you do have that liberty, however,
liberty’s
boundaries according to scripture has always been love. If you destroy someone
for the sake of your “rights” then the face of love you have shown is ugly. This is what
makes love so lovely...it is sensitive to those around it.
“Not seek its own” ζητέω zētéō; Particularly, to seek after, look
for, strive to find.
Notice, the issue here is the object that is receiving. It’s
not wrong to “strive to find” unless the object all the striving is
for...is yourself! We need to be careful here because as the scripture states,
our hearts can be desperately wicked and deceitful. Are we striving for what
others need, or in reality what we want...even if we try and claim it is what
they need. Love does not seek to satisfy itself.
“Provoked” παροξύνω paroxúnō;
from pará, at the point of, unto,
implying movement toward a certain point, and oxúnō, to sharpen, incite, irritate. Metaphorically, to sharpen the
mind, temper, or courage of someone, to incite, to impel. In the NT, it means
to provoke or rouse to anger or indignation
Love does not allow itself to be brought to anger or
indignation. When we are controlled by love, insults have no effect on us. This
is because we have died to self and words are only words. What matters is how
we act, not what others do or say.
“Not take into “account”
a wrong suffered” λογίζομαι logízomai; To reckon,
impute, number. “Wrong” κακὸς
kakós; Bad, worthless
externally, evil, wicked
This is one of the most important “NOTS” of
love. A long memory! Love does not count and keep the number of times it is
wronged. So many misunderstand forgiveness – it is not for our enemies only...in fact
it is more for our benefit than theirs. When we forgive we show the love of
Christ, but many times those that hate us continue to hate us. However, we
sleep at night in peace, because our short memory has taken the weight of the
hurt off our shoulders. I have watched people crushed by their unrelenting
memory of what others have done to them. How tragic!
“Does not rejoice in unrighteousness” ἀδικία adikía;
What is not conformable with justice, what ought not to be, that which is
wrong.[1]
This is one of the more subtle “NOTS” of love. The reason is that many times
that which is wrong is disguised as –“Well he got what was coming to him!” or “Teach
her a lesson!” These statements may be true, but love does not rejoice over someone’s
misfortune. Even if they are reaping what they sowed, a heart that loves feels
for that person. We may believe they are getting what they deserve, like a
criminal, but a person that loves does not feel happy about the judgment
someone must go through. We can rejoice that God is just and will deal with
every injustice, but to delight in someone else’s pain is not borne from a heart that
understands God’s mercy, or our own falleness. Obviously love does not rejoice
is what is clearly evil or wrong, but when we see one sinner, hurt by another
sin...we should not feel good about that.
As we look at
these “NOTS” of love...can we be honest and look in the mirror? Are you
sensitive to those around you, so that you do not allow your freedoms to hurt
them? Do you ever seek what you want more than what others need? Do you allow
circumstances to dictate your reactions? Are you glad when someone that hurt
you, gets hurt? How long is your memory? Want to sleep great at night? Get a
short memory...ask Jesus...He is the best teacher on forgiveness!
[1]
Zodhiates, S. (2000). The complete word
study dictionary : New Testament (electronic ed.). Chattanooga, TN: AMG
Publishers.
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