Parenting 501

   When I was a young parent I really thought I had it all figured out! Ha! I thought you got them to college age – kissed them goodbye as they went off to school and then it was done. How naïve I was. It never ends! That love cannot be cut just because geographical location has changed. I think about my kids everyday. I pray for them and hope they stay close to God. I remember when my first one left the nest. We were headed home for a year of home ministry. I had gotten my son a job at my old painting company and he was on a strong learning curve. Every morning at 5 AM I drove him to the shop. We had great talks, but I could feel that old adversary, TIME, ticking away.

I had to leave for the mainland before the rest of the family left Hawaii. It was great to be home, but I had to push on to camps, preaching schedules and finally to the East Coast where I would become the Missionary In Residence at Washington Bible College and Capital Bible Seminary for the year. Dee and the other two kids would join me in two months after dropping Chris (our eldest) at college. The last day came – as I boarded the plane that afternoon while he was still at work I realized then and there – we never stop being parents. A week later in the middle of a retreat, I found myself alone by a lake and I wrote this in my journal. "I said goodbye to my son last week. That morning arrived earlier than most. He looked younger then I had remembered in a long time. I had been driving him to work every morning at 5 am for weeks. It was a nice drive and we enjoyed conversation and prayer together. The drive seemed shorter that morning, the prayer more vital than ever. I can’t recall ever wanting a traffic jam before – that morning I so desired one. We embraced each other in the car because I did not want to embarrass him in front of his construction-working buddies.

I told him I was proud of him, that if he stayed close to God he would succeed in his life. I told him I would miss him very much, and that thoughts of him would dominate my prayers. I walked with him into the work compound. He went to his friends. I just talked with a friend of mine that is part owner of the company. I turned to my son as I walked toward the car to wave goodbye, but he was already walking toward me. I put my hand out to shake his hand, he passed by it and embraced me with his two arms. With the strength that only a wrestler has in his arms he hugged me and said I love you dad. I said goodbye to my son. My son. A person that radically changed my life from the first moment I held him. 

A person that has permanent residence in my heart, control over my thoughts, and possession of much of my dreams.

I said good-bye to my son God, I knew it would happen some day, I did not imagine it would feel this way. I said good-bye to my son God. I know it is right for he is a man, but the feelings of this change is very difficult to understand. I said good-bye to my son God. I have to let him go, I know this is true. 

Still I am so glad that no matter where he goes, he goes with You. I said good-bye to my son God. My son is leaving to get an education. You said good-bye to your Son, God. He left to be a sacrifice for every nation. What you must have felt as you said good-bye, I am sure I will never know. Your love for me was your motivation for Him to go. You said good-bye to your son, God. You would have done it for the sins of one, thank you, thank you God...for doing it for my son!