Untying the rest of the “NOTS”

Paul is showing us what love is NOT. Let’s look at the rest of his description.

1 Cor. 13:1-7 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. [2] And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. [3] And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. [4] Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, [5] does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, [6] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; [7] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

“Unbecomingly” - ἀσχημονέω aschēmonéō; To behave in an ugly, indecent, unseemly or unbecoming manner

Love never communicates in a way that would be considered ugly or indecent. This of course makes this side of love very sensitive to culture. What is ugly in one culture may not be ugly somewhere else. For instance I know of a very closed country to the gospel, that if any believer goes to a movie, the entire Christian community is offended. Many today would say... “that’s not fair! I have the right to go to a movie, that’s a liberty issue!” Right and Wrong!  On it’s own you do have that liberty, however, liberty’s boundaries according to scripture has always been love. If you destroy someone for the sake of your “rights” then the face of love you have shown is ugly. This is what makes love so lovely...it is sensitive to those around it.

“Not seek its own” ζητέω zētéō; Particularly, to seek after, look for, strive to find.

Notice, the issue here is the object that is receiving. It’s not wrong to “strive to find” unless the object all the striving is for...is yourself! We need to be careful here because as the scripture states, our hearts can be desperately wicked and deceitful. Are we striving for what others need, or in reality what we want...even if we try and claim it is what they need. Love does not seek to satisfy itself.

“Provoked” παροξύνω paroxúnō; from pará, at the point of, unto, implying movement toward a certain point, and oxúnō, to sharpen, incite, irritate. Metaphorically, to sharpen the mind, temper, or courage of someone, to incite, to impel. In the NT, it means to provoke or rouse to anger or indignation

Love does not allow itself to be brought to anger or indignation. When we are controlled by love, insults have no effect on us. This is because we have died to self and words are only words. What matters is how we act, not what others do or say.

“Not take into “account” a wrong suffered”  λογίζομαι logízomai; To reckon, impute, number. “Wrong” κακὸς kakós; Bad, worthless externally, evil, wicked

This is one of the most important “NOTS” of love. A long memory! Love does not count and keep the number of times it is wronged. So many misunderstand forgiveness – it is not for our enemies only...in fact it is more for our benefit than theirs. When we forgive we show the love of Christ, but many times those that hate us continue to hate us. However, we sleep at night in peace, because our short memory has taken the weight of the hurt off our shoulders. I have watched people crushed by their unrelenting memory of what others have done to them. How tragic!

“Does not rejoice in unrighteousness” ἀδικία adikía; What is not conformable with justice, what ought not to be, that which is wrong.^[1]

This is one of the more subtle “NOTS” of love. The reason is that many times that which is wrong is disguised as –“Well he got what was coming to him!” or “Teach her a lesson!” These statements may be true, but love does not rejoice over someone’s misfortune. Even if they are reaping what they sowed, a heart that loves feels for that person. We may believe they are getting what they deserve, like a criminal, but a person that loves does not feel happy about the judgment someone must go through. We can rejoice that God is just and will deal with every injustice, but to delight in someone else’s pain is not borne from a heart that understands God’s mercy, or our own falleness. Obviously love does not rejoice is what is clearly evil or wrong, but when we see one sinner, hurt by another sin...we should not feel good about that.    

As we look at these “NOTS” of love...can we be honest and look in the mirror? Are you sensitive to those around you, so that you do not allow your freedoms to hurt them? Do you ever seek what you want more than what others need? Do you allow circumstances to dictate your reactions? Are you glad when someone that hurt you, gets hurt? How long is your memory? Want to sleep great at night? Get a short memory...ask Jesus...He is the best teacher on forgiveness!

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^[1] Zodhiates, S. (2000). The complete word study dictionary : New Testament (electronic ed.). Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers.