If I am forgiven…why do I still feel guilty and dirty?

We looked at how Jesus was the complete Sacrifice for sin, but before I finish this series from Hebrews, looking at what the New Covenant means to each of us, I feel led to deal with the common issues that I have dealt with                                                        over the past 40 years in                                                              ministry.

The questions seem to be able to be broken down into a few categories:

1. If Jesus paid the entire debt of Sin, and I have trusted in what He did, why do I still feel separated and dirty?

The main answer to this is that many believers confuse the concept of “Relationship” versus “Fellowship.”

When a person trusts in Christ as his or her Lord and Savior, they are immediately made a child of God, adopted into the Family of God. Like any family, the connection is based on blood, which cannot be changed by anything. My son is my son, whether he lives exactly the way I hope he will or if he became the most evil person in the world! His actions do not change his relationship to me.

Fellowship on the other hand has to do with things that unite us in our behavior, desires and beliefs. That is what friendship is built on. As a child of God, when we sin we remain a child of God, however our friendship with God is strained because we are disobeying Him and ignoring the aspects that lead to a deeper friendship. Jesus made it clear:

John 15:14 “You are My friends if you do what I command you.”

God’s love IS unconditional, as is eternal life. However, friendship and blessing are not. What parent would bless a child that is living in a way that is dangerous? You would not want to affirm that wrong behavior. So, you would discipline them in order to protect and restore. No one feels friendship when being disciplined, yet Scripture points out that a true friend tells you when you are wrong.

Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”

So when we sin, that break we sense in fellowship is there, what complicates the situation is the way we handle our sin.

 A. We keep trying to make offerings for our sins, instead of confessing and turning away.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

B. We focus on how we feel, instead of how we hurt God.

Psalm 51:4 ^“Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight”

Our flesh is Sly…If we feel guilty, that feeling soothes the soul, but misses the real issue which is confess, (Humble ourselves) repent, (Take action to turn away from that sin) and thank God for His faithfulness. (Recognize that He will restore you because He promised to) We need to love God more and ourselves less. 

1 John 2:1 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;

2. How come I don’t feel “saved” anymore?”

This is simply because you are Confusing Eternal Security and Assurance of Salvation! Eternal Security is God’s view of our Salvation:

Romans 8:35–39 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ³⁶ Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” ³⁷ But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Remember you are a “created thing!” It is God’s salvation, not ours! David understood that:

Psalm 51:12 “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation”

Eternal security is kept in the mind, that is why the "helmet of Salvation" is so important…it is something you know, not feel. Assurance though, is controlled by our emotions. If you are living in sin, you will not feel peace concerning your relationship with God. Your “assurance” is wavering because your behavior does not match how you know you should live.

3. How can he or she live like that and call themselves a Christian?

This is a question that really impacts a lot of believers and causes them problems with their faith. The answer is simple: Stop being a Pharisee! The only salvation you can be sure of is yours! It is not our job to judge others. If we see a “brother” in sin, we should pray and, if the Holy Spirit leads, go and talk to that person GENTLY and in MEEKNESS, because we could fall the same way, and try and restore them. We need to remember what Jesus shared:

Matthew 13:27–30 “The farmer’s workers went to him and said, ‘Sir, the field where you planted that good seed is full of weeds! Where did they come from?’ ²⁸ “ ‘An enemy has done this!’ the farmer exclaimed. “ ‘Should we pull out the weeds?’ they asked. ²⁹ “ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘you’ll uproot the wheat if you do. ³⁰ Let both grow together until the harvest. Then I will tell the harvesters to sort out the weeds, tie them into bundles, and burn them, and to put the wheat in the barn.’ ”

Our responsibility is to pray and love anyone that claims to be a child of God, but is not living like one. If the Holy Spirit gives you the relationship with them, He might lead you to lovingly confront them, BUT deciding if they are a tare or wheat is not your job! That belongs only to God!

The So What: When you sin, what do you do? Have you thoroughly understood how complete the sacrifice for sin that Jesus paid is? If not, Study. The Scriptures will show you there is nothing you can do to have a relationship with God. It has been done…you either accept and trust in it, or you reject it. If you do not “feel” like a friend of God, find out why, if it is sin, repent and stand on God’s promise to restore fellowship. Do people who claim to know Christ, but the way they live contradicts that, bother you? Stop being bothered, pray for them!