Is Valentines a day?…Or is it a Way of Life?

As we approach Valentines day let’s take a deeper look at the word “Love.”

The world has some strange ideas of love – just listen to some of the songs we have made famous that speak about love:

* Your lights are on, but you're not home - Your mind is not your own - Your heart sweats, your body shakes - Another kiss is what it takes

You can't sleep, you can't eat There's no doubt, you're in deep Your throat is tight, you can't breathe - Another kiss is all you need

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah - It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough - You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love!

* Deep in my soul, I've been so lonely All of my hopes fading away, I've longed for love, Like everyone else does, I know I'll keep searching after today, So there it is girl, I've said it all now And here we are, babe, What do you say
We've got tonight, Who needs tomorrow We've got tonight, babe, Why don't you stay.

* If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right, If being right means being without you, I'd rather be wrong than right…Am I wrong to fall so deeply in love with you, knowing I got a wife and two little children depending on me too, And am I wrong to hunger for the gentleness of your touch, knowing I got someone else at home who needs me just as much

* I love little baby ducks, old pick-up trucks, slow-moving trains, and rain - I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, Sunday school in may, - And hay - And I love you too,

I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends, birds in the world, and squirrels - I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups, bourbon in a glass, and grass and I love you too,

I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions - I love winners when they cry, losers when they try, music when it's good, and life - And I love you too!

From addiction, to “one night stands,” or abandoning wife and kids to “loving onions and You!” Wow! It seems in the world’s mind love covers it all.

There are many that will spend their time debating the history of Valentines day, whether evil or not, and even which “saint” it was named after. The fact remains that worldwide this day has become known as a day to express love.

If anyone in the world should express authentic love it should be those that call themselves "Christians." Our Scriptures make it clear that “God IS love!” Yet, we must make sure that this is not treated as “a special day,” but as a way of life.

When we express that characteristic that flows from God, what should that look like?

First, we need to understand the importance of Love:

1 Corinthians 13:13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Real love is eternal and is so important everything else in comparison pales before it! 

1 Corinthians 13:3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

Here is how our Lord describes Love:

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Let me offer this “look” at the Love we should express:

Giving that person what God has decided they need.

This is different than what the world teaches many times. In that view, Love is giving to a person what he or she wants. Scripturally, true Love would be to meet the need that God knows this person requires.  Here is how that looks:

·      Love is Constant: It is not “flighty” or a rollercoaster, because it is not based on emotion. It is a willful decision!

There are 2 key words for love in the New Testament, they both communicate care, but one is more firm.

φιλέω philéō = Founded in Affection – emotions impact this greatly

ἀγαπάω agapáō = Founded in Conviction – Commitment in whatever circumstance is the key here.

We see the clear difference in John as Jesus helps restore Peter:

John 21:15–17 After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love (agapáō) me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love (philéō) you.” “Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love (agapáō) me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love (philéō) you.” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love (philéō) me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love (philéō) you.” Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.

Peter knew without a doubt he loved Jesus, yet when Jesus asked him the first two times He employed the word agapao. Peter knew that word carried a deeper commitment and I am sure he felt the hypocrite from his denials, so he answered with the more emotional word for love. However, when Jesus asks the last time using phileo, notice how hurt Peter was. He knew he had blown it, but there was no question to the fact that he possessed great affection for his Lord, what he doubted was his commitment, which agapao communicated.

When we seek to give what God knows the other person needs, it also opens the door for “tough love.” Love must sometimes confront wrong in a person’s life. If we do not, we are not showing Biblical Love. Remember, when it comes to showing “tough love,” if it’s really Love – it will be tougher on the one who is giving it, than the one receiving it. When you truly love someone it is hard to do something that might cause pain, even if they need it. To give an addict his drug, because to say no would cause him pain, is not love; true Love would never help someone destroy themselves.

·      Love is Empowering

Romans 13:9–10 For this, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

Love gives us the power to forgive! When we forgive, no matter what the response is from the other person, we win!

If you forgive someone who has wronged you – if they repent, you win and fellowship is restored.

If you forgive someone who has wronged you – and they do not repent, you still win! How? Your soul has peace with God and you have no ill will towards that person. You will sleep well at night, while they will wrestle with anger and bitterness.

Real Love allows us not to be at the mercy of our emotions.

·      Love is Simple.

Romans 13:8 Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law.

This is not complicated…which does not mean it is easy! Still, it simplifies our life. We have one debt to those around us – Love them! When we connect our source of Love to the Author of Love, there will be an endless supply to tap into, no matter the circumstances. Important to remember though, and testified by years of Church history, God will supply what we need at the TIME we need it! Too many believers try to imagine Loving someone that did some horrible thing that they read about. You will not sense the ability to extend God’s Love to an imaginary reality! However, when we walk close to God, if we find ourselves in a terrible, hurtful situation, we are one prayer away from the release of God’s powerful ability to Love under any circumstance. Our Lord modeled this as He went on the cross, “Father, forgive.” A very short time after that, 2-4 years, Stephen uttered the same words as he was being stoned to death.

Let us focus on remaining close to God, let God be concerned when to supply our need to show Love.

Challenge: Of all the things you want in this life what matters most to you? When was the last time you loved the unlovable?