The One Pill You Should Not Take!

One of the most heart wrenching experiences I have ever endured taught me the the danger of “Bitterness” My first Disciple in Makakilo, Hawaii was a tough former Marine. His wife had been coming to the church and seeking counseling about her marriage. She said if he would just become a believer , she knew her marriage would become great! He did, and what a change. George (fake name) was one of the most on fire men of God I have ever encountered. He started bringing his three sons to everything and we began discipling! Suddenly Sally (fake name) became angry at me. She attacked me verbally and said she wanted her husband to be a believer but not a fanatic! The next year was horrible, she quit church, threatened divorce, tried to malign me and made George’s life miserable! Finally she called and asked to meet with he and I. There she pleaded one more time for him to just be like he use to be, no more Bible, no more Church. He gently told her he could never go back because Jesus had changed him. 

It was like watching a volcano go off! Screaming, threatening both of us, then suddenly she became calm, said “fine, we will stay together but live separately, I hate you George and I hope you die!” George remained faithful to the Lord and continued to bring his sons with him, but Sally was never seen and George said that home life became worse and worse as he could see his wife's heart filled with bitterness. Six months after she had said she hoped he died, George was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I remember the day he called me to his house to tell me how bad it was and how short of time he had left. He had complete peace with the Lord, of course concern for his boys, but almost a delightful relief of not having to endure the wrath of his wife anymore. When I received the call that he was near death I went to the hospital. His wife was outside the room...broken. She said the boys were in with George and he wanted me to go in. As I held his hand he became quite lucid, smiled at me. I asked him about Sally, he said she could not sit in with him because of guilt. He had forgiven her, and told her he loved her, but she was filled with shame. I prayed with he and his boys, then the Lord brought him home.

What bitterness did to that woman has never left me. She could not look at me as I informed her George was gone. She did not talk all the way through the day of the funeral. As I walked away from the grave she grabbed my hand and broke down begging forgiveness. I had the joy of sharing that I never disliked her and that the Lord desires to have fellowship with her. The good news, she came back to the Lord, and brought her boys up under the Word of God. 

The bad news is that, although forgiven, I know the scar she carries in her heart. Bitterness drove her to utter words she will always regret, God heals, but scars remain! There is a saying: “This is a “bitter” pill to swallow!” I recommend this is one pill you refuse to take!

As we look at another danger zone let’s review:

·      First Warning #1 Laziness = Lack of Discipline!

§  Test yourself: Do you only do the difficult or inconvenient when forced to, or do you choose to do the difficult, i.e. Memorize Scripture, Read through the Bible, Fast, etc. just to stay in shape?

·      Second Warning #2 Boredom = Lack of Purpose!

§  Test yourself: Are you Proactive in your walk with God? Do you seek from Him on your own to create new ways to grow and serve Christ?

·      Third - Warning  #3 Restlessness = Lack of Contentment!

§  Test yourself: How do you handle solitude? If you are alone for a period of time, can you use it profitably, or do you just become “antsy” and have to find anything to do to distract yourself?

·      Fourth - Strong Current #4 Pride = Lack of REAL Esteem!

§  Test yourself: How many of those around you know that you need Christ and have no joy in your life without Him? Are you embarrassed to talk about your dependence on Christ for everything in your life?

·      Fifth - Strong Current #5 Self Pity = Lack of Control over Circumstances!

§  Test yourself: When someone does not fulfill a promise they made to you, how long does it take for you to get over it? When someone has wronged you, how difficult is it for you to forgive them?

·      Sixth - Strong Current #6 Pigging Out = Lack of Control of Appetites!

§  Test yourself: Which do you hunger for more, that which pleases God or that which pleases you? Do you seek to make other feel good or your self?

·      Seventh – Danger Zone #7 Murmuring = Lack of Joy!

§  Test yourself: Starting with where you are right now and what you have right now, what’s your “beef” with God? How much time to you spend thanking God for here and now versus wishing things were better?

·      Eighth – Danger Zone #8  Hatred of being corrected = Lack of Fear!

§  Test yourself: Are you accountable to anyone in your life? Are you uncomfortable when those in the Body of Christ, that are authority figures appointed by God, try to get close to you?

Ninth – Danger Zone #9 Bitterness

Deuteronomy 29:14–19 “But you are not the only ones with whom I am making this covenant with its curses. I am making this covenant both with you who stand here today in the presence of the Lord our God, and also with the future generations who are not standing here today. “You remember how we lived in the land of Egypt and how we traveled through the lands of enemy nations as we left. You have seen their detestable practices and their idols made of wood, stone, silver, and gold. I am making this covenant with you so that no one among you—no man, woman, clan, or tribe—will turn away from the Lord our God to worship these gods of other nations, and so that no root among you bears bitter and poisonous fruit.  “Those who hear the warnings of this curse should not congratulate themselves, thinking, ‘I am safe, even though I am following the desires of my own stubborn heart.’ This would lead to utter ruin!

There is a character quality every believer need: Have a “short memory!” Not concerning everything, but only concerning “wrongs” they feel have been done against them. Only the Holy Spirit can accomplish this. Throughout my walk with Christ, by His grace, I have experienced this. Most people that know me, comment that I am quite transparent, and I do try to be, because accountability is one of the greatest weapons against the flesh! So I am honest about my weaknesses, rarely do I get to talk about a strength. This is one of mine. God has enabled me to have a “short memory” and forgiveness is not a difficult decision for me. “Decision?”…you think, isn’t forgiveness a “feeling?” I will come back to that…but first we need to understand that when we are in the Danger Zone of Bitterness it exposes a terrible “cancer” in our heart... a Lack of Compassion!  

When you cannot forgive, you show your contempt for how much the Lord forgave you! Jesus made this point with Simon the Pharisee – and His point was that when you understand how much God loves you to forgive all the garbage you do, you will have the love to forgive others. If you don’t understand the Love it took God to forgive you, you will not have that reservoir to go into to forgive others! [1]

Now back to “forgiveness” being a decision. That is exactly what it is! Too many people try to “feel” it first before they give it. That method will lead you directly to “Bitterness!” When you make the “decision” to forgive…because Christ forgave you…God will honor that and in time your emotions will catch up to your decision. I had a person that I thought was a friend and co-laborer lie so much about me, people in the USA were calling me to ask if it were true that Dee and I were getting a divorce! I decided to forgive him. The next day – emotionally I killed him again, but then said “no I have forgiven him!” Each day I “killed” him, then reminded myself I had forgiven him.

Soon I was only killing him once a week, then once a month, then once a year…now I have not done it for years. I have gone to coffee with him, and I pray for his well being! I still do not trust him...there’s a big difference between forgiveness and trust…but that is another Devo! Make the decision…and watch how your emotions change!

Hebrews 12:15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Test yourself: How long does it take for you to decide you will forgive someone? How many people can you remember that have hurt you easily? How many habitual sins are in your life so deep that you couldn't stop them even if you wanted to?

Hebrews 12:15–17 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau, who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal. You know that afterward, when he wanted his father’s blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears.

Ephesians 4:26–27 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Meditation: Just ONE question: How long of a memory do you have?

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[1]   Luke 7:40–50 Then Jesus answered his thoughts. “Simon,” he said to the Pharisee, “I have something to say to you.” “Go ahead, Teacher,” Simon replied.  Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people— 500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?”  Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” “That’s right,” Jesus said. Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.”  The men at the table said among themselves, “Who is this man, that he goes around forgiving sins?” And Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”