It’s the whole package that counts…not just the wrapping!

Probing Proverbs 11:22 A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.

When I was young I use to love working with my mom as she made cookies. I would always be there when she would get out the vanilla extract bottle and pour it into the mixture of chocolate chip cookies. The smell of the vanilla would fill the room and I would always ask if I could have some straight from the bottle. My mom would say no because it really tasted bad. Well, I did not believe her based on what I smelled! One day she was making cookies and left the kitchen for a moment, that's when I grabbed the bottle of vanilla and took a quick drink. Blahh! My eyes got big, my palate screamed at me ”NOOOO!” It was terrible! Yes…I deserved it, but more importantly, I learned a great lesson. What something appears to be does not guarantee what it is!

This is the warning of this Proverb. We should never be so enamored with what something appears to be that we check our brains at the door! We need to take the time to think and discover what is really underneath the surface of something.

When it comes to “things” we need to say no to impulse, no matter how good the deal looks, how the item tickles our eyes or the emotional pull it gives us. How many individuals have signed deals that looked “to good to be true” only to find out later that was true. The deal appeared great, but in the details they discovered poison! The car “looked” so cool, but later we find because of how bad it runs, we are back on public transport! The pictures of the vacation or the home make us feel "This is what I always wanted", but the reality makes us feel like we have been sentenced to jail time!

This principle is even more important when dealing with the topic this Proverb is speaking to. Looking for a relationship with the opposite sex must go much deeper then the skin. To marry someone that is (maganda) beautiful or (pogi) handsome, only to find they have the personality of a rock, or the intellect of an ameba, or the temper of a volcano will guarantee a miserable marriage.

God makes it clear that the inside is vastly more important than the outside:

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Matthew 23:25–28 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence. “You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. “So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness

When I teach on marriage I make the point that in reality there is a “purgatory.” It’s not after death though; it’s a bad marriage! Think about it, the teaching about purgatory is that you go to a place where you suffer for a while and then get to go to heaven. That is what happens when a believer is in a bad marriage. They suffer during that marriage and then when they die, they go to heaven! No one should or needs to go through this. Yes, love involves the eyes and the heart…but needs to be tempered with the mind! We need to examine the whole person, and make sure we are compatible spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and physically. There are billions of people in this world, so we should never “settle.” We should never marry someone we really do not like looking at, that is absurd! However, where that item is on your priority list does matter. 

The more beautiful a person is on the inside, the more attractive the outside becomes. This principle works in the other direction also, no matter how stunning the looks of someone is, as you get to know them, if they are ugly inside, they lose much of their appeal outwardly.

Meditation: Are you trying to put a gold ring on a pig’s snout? Are you pursuing a job, an item, or a lifestyle that looks good only on the surface and you have not considered what the reality is? Are you involved in a relationship where the appearance of the individual is overwhelming, but you have so many items you would like to change about their inside? Slow down! Take time to seek God’s thoughts and mix them with your thoughts. See what the whole package is!