Fruit - Pt 6 Gentleness - The most misunderstood fruit!

I remember a joke about a real Big, mean looking guy who enters a diner and sits down right in the middle of the serving bar. He orders a bowl of chili, picks up the bottle of hot sauce, pours it all in, picks up his bowl and gulps it down without a spoon. A loud angry belch…he looks at everybody sitting to his left and states, "Everyone on this side is an ugly creep!" Then he looks at those on his right side and states: Everyone on this side is a whimp and a mama’a boy!" There was dead silence…then suddenly a guy on his left side stands up and begins to walk toward him. The Big guy yells, "where are you going!" The man sheephishly says “I think I'm on the wrong side!”

Sadly, especially for men, the idea of gentleness is the guy who thinks he is on the wrong side…no that is not true. Being a whimp has nothing to do with this fruit! 

Please consider these questions:

1.  How can we describe this fruit, to better understand it?

2.  How can we tell if we are not Gentle?

3.  What about the feeling that to be gentle you cannot be "manly" or "firm"?

4.  What area of our life needs this fruit the most?

When you think of a whimp…what do you think of? Someone who Karate chops on Jello & whipped cream?

There is a characteristic in the fruit of the Spirit that many believe makes you appear at times as a whimp. This is a misunderstanding of Gentleness. (Meekness)  This word expresses more the idea of controlled strength, firm strength and it is tied to humility. Humility is never the way of the world. If you look closely, the way of the world is Intimidation! Just two men walking toward one another on a narrow side walk, often each expects the other to yield. Wives often intimidate by folding their arms, and looking straight ahead until they get their way.

The World does not applaud a person who yeilds their rights, they applaud the one that pushes and goes for it! 

This needs to be said, there is a big difference between dedication and intimidation. One is a commitment to accomplish excellence; the other is the determination to have your own way.

* Gentleness expresses itself, like other fruit, first to God than to man

Intimidation has even invaded the prayer life of the Church. No where in Scripture does it say we should claim or demand what we want. Faith is trusting God to hear your desires and then to answer according to what He knows is best!

Gentleness flows from the Spirit of God and is first expressed by us toward our Lord. As we humbly approach God, still in the confident boldness of being His children, yet seeking to understand His desires for our life and relationships, we will also express this controlled strength to all we know. Let’s consider our questions:

·      How can we describe this fruit, to better understand it?

1 Thes. 2:7 But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.

No normal mother would ever deliberately hurt her child but would even sacrifice her wants for the needs of her child. Who comes first in your life, you or others?

·      How can we tell if we are not Gentle?

2 Tim. 2:24 And the Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged

Do you always have to be right? Can you allow others to have their convictions? When someone oversteps a boundary, are you slow to anger or do you react?

·      What makes you feel about the sense of being gentle that you cannot be "manly" or "firm"?

Psalm 18:31–35 For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God, The God who girds me with strength And makes my way blameless? He makes my feet like hinds’ feet, And sets me upon my high places. He trains my hands for battle, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your right hand upholds me; And Your gentleness makes me great.

David was hardly a soft man! He was a warrior and courageous, but he understood that God’s gentleness is essential for balance. This was the quality that controlled his dealings with King Saul. He could have killed Saul several times, but knew that only the Lord should remove Saul. This was the quality that showed mercy to those that many in that day would have killed all associated with an enemy. This was the quality that caused David to mourn when Saul was killed. A man’s man is gentle!

·      What area of our life needs this fruit the most?

James 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.

This fruit is especially needed when we are attacked by others, or we will become like them and seek to do evil. A good example is Moses. Those closest to him turned on him, and the Lord punished them. When they begged Moses for mercy, he cried to the Lord for them! He did not say, “You got what you deserve!”

Numbers 12:1-3, 9-13 Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married (for he had married a Cushite woman); and they said, "Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us as well?" And the Lord heard it. (Now the man Moses was very humble, more than any man who was on the face of the earth. So the anger of the Lord burned against them and He departed. But when the cloud had withdrawn from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, as white as snow. As Aaron turned toward Miriam, behold, she was leprous. Then Aaron said to Moses, "Oh, my lord, I beg you, do not account this sin to us, in which we have acted foolishly and in which we have sinned. "Oh, do not let her be like one dead, whose flesh is half eaten away when he comes from his mother's womb!” And Moses cried out to the Lord, saying, "O God, heal her, I pray!"

There was a song written years ago that expresses the balance we need:

Everyman has his belief, his own point of view on everything from big to small.

Some of them we must defend with everything we got, some of them don't matter much at all.

You can speak out every time you think that you are right, hold your ground until the end.

You can rattle tooth and nail in each and every fight, you might even lose some friends.

When you give up your pride and make those conflicts cease, some folks may laugh and call you weak.

But it takes strength to be the one who makes the peace it takes courage to be meek 

But when you give up yourself you are as strong as a man can be. It's the hardest thing that you will ever do. When you give up yourself the world will clearly see the Lord Jesus walking hand in hand with you!

Are we gentle with each other? What is our testimony? One who divides or unites? Are we so committed to being right about everything, that we do wrong in the Lord’s eyes?