Being callous or being wise...how do you tell the difference?

Probing Proverbs 9:7-8 Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you.

This passage guides us into the better use of our time. When a person enters into a relationship with Jesus Christ, slowly but surely, the Holy Spirit begins to mold the heart toward the character of Christ. If before salvation you cared for people who were in trouble, that concern will grow more intense. If, however, before you knew Christ you really did not give much of your time to help others that were in trouble, you will see a clear change taking place in how you think. This is a natural outgrowth of regeneration and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. There is a problem that comes with this though. Especially when you're a young Christian, you never want to say no to someone that is in trouble. 

This leads many times to you expending great amounts of time on individuals who really do not desire help, and even in the end may turn on you. This is not about protecting yourself, because Christ likeness always leads to selflessness. What this is guiding us to do is to not fear to be a better steward of the use of our time. Again, we want to be careful because we are not omniscient, so we will not know how a person will respond when we try to help them with their failures. That's why this passage is so valuable. Living Christ-like in a unChrist-like world, it is impossible to not be hurt emotionally. However, when you invest that emotion because Jesus Christ has burden your heart to try to help someone, the comfort He will bring, and the appreciation He will show you for your effort, balances the emotional pain that you go through. So, we cannot protect ourselves from being hurt or letdown. Yet, as this passage shows us we can become wise stewards of how many times we will be involved with particular individuals. The scale given is a simple one, when you try to help someone see a failure in their life, their response will define what kind of person they are. As we become mature believers, we come to the knowledge; that in essence you cannot help someone unless they will let you. 

Basically that's what this passage is trying to help us understand. No one who truly knows Christ ever wants to turn their back on someone who is struggling. Reality though, dictates a different course of action. If the person turns on you or even starts to hate you, you need to walk away and just turn them over to the Lord. It may cause you pain several times, but at some point the Holy Spirit will give you the freedom to walk away. It is not wise for you to spend your time and energy with an individual that treats that investment with contempt and really isn't interested in changing. Contrary, when you come alongside someone and try to help them with their failure, embarrassed or maybe even hurt they may be, but they follow your lead…this person is someone you want to invest in. Not only will you sense that you are spending your energies in a worthwhile direction, but in the end, the wise person that you helped will be a blessing to your heart, and will actually encourage you to take the risk again with someone else that needs help.

Anyone that has been brought to salvation through the mercy and grace of our Lord, knowing how far short they fell from God and the kind of sinner they are, never want to give up on another person. Let us remember though, even Christ and the apostle Paul after making many attempts to help certain individuals and even groups understand their need for repentance, after being treated with contempt and even despised, they both turned and said “have it your way” and went to others that were open to learn. So here's our standard: always be willing to help someone struggling with sin, always pay attention to their response. In doing this you will empower yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit and maximize the investment of your time and emotions in other people's lives. 

Remember, if you come to a point where you can no longer counsel the person, it does not mean that you cannot continue to pray for them. Prayer is something we never give up on!